Self Development

Self-Care Isn’t For YOU

Why do we struggle to take time for ourselves? Why do feelings of guilt come up when we do things we want to do that we think only benefit us? Self-care has become viewed as a guilty indulgence of sorts, especially among moms I find.

I hear comments like this all the time:

  • “I know I should make time for meditating, but I just don’t have time.”
  • “I was so BAD today. I didn’t leave the couch.”
  • “I just can’t justify taking a weekend away from my family to spend with my childhood friends.”
  • “I know I should exercise. I feel guilty leaving the kids for that time.”

We make up so many reasons why we belong on the back burner. And we believe them. As we use them to justify our actions that don’t 100% align with our true desires, they become not just thoughts, but ingrained beliefs.

Imagine this scene with me for a moment.

Imagine you are holding a cup of coffee, standing in the hallway, maybe chatting pleasantly with someone else. I wasn’t looking where I was going and I ran right smack into you. You spilled your coffee all over. It’s all over you, me and your friend. It went everywhere.

Then I turn to you and ask…”Why did you spill your coffee?”

You would likely answer, “Well, duh…..because you bumped into me!”

“Wrong. You spilled coffee because that was what you had in your cup. If you had tea in your cup you would have spilled tea. The issue isn’t “Are you going to get bumped around and jostled in life. The issue is “What are you carrying around in your cup?”

Forget about the empty cup analogy or empty tank analogy normally used when talking about self-care. Everyone’s cup is overfilling. We have things coming at us rocket fire all day long. The question is what are you carrying around in your cup? When life jostles you and it spills over, what will you spill out onto other people and yourself?

Self-care isn’t for you. It’s for everyone around you. When you are nurturing and supporting yourself to the best of your ability, only then do you show up as the best version of you.

And the world needs what you have. We need you to show up and give us your best self every day. I am sure you can see by looking around how much we all need you to be ready to share light, love, kindness and feel wonderful and ready to shine.

Change your view on self-care, time for self, self-reflection. Go do what your heart desires to feel whole. Get a massage, take a walk, journal, read a book, lay on the couch all day, see a friend. Do what is calling to you. The messages you need to hear to guide you on how to best deliver your gifts starts with YOU. You will never see your path until you tune in, slow down and breathe. Guilt is only a choice you’ve made. Think of it like a suitcase filled with bricks. You can choose to pick it up anytime you want. And you can also choose to set it down forever. 

I hope you fill your cup with love and wonderful blessings so that when life bumps you around you spill out so much goodness, light, and love into the world.

In Love, Light, and Faith,


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