It’s no wonder we dread looking at our to-do list. It’s generally more than Wonder Woman herself could accomplish in a week, let alone a day. It often contains the agenda of other people, instead of our own. We drench ourselves in guilt when we look it over, feeling bad that we didn’t complete what we set out to do.
Here are two techniques to loosen the grip your to-do list has over you:
Make a To-Feel List Instead.
The items on our to-do list are often there because we think accomplishing them will make us feel a certain way. But instead of starting with the feelings, we jump ahead to the solution before understanding the question. So we put things on our to-do list we think we “should” do, even if they are not aligned for us. Start instead with asking the question “How do I want to feel today, or this week?” Only then after you’ve identified how you want to feel ask yourself, “What actions will bring about these feelings for me?”
So, when I did this for the week I came up with the following list of how I’d like to feel this week:
- Inspired
- Energized
- Healthy
- Rested
- Reflective
- Connected
- Unrushed
- Present
- Engaged in learning
- Inspiring others
When I look at the list I can then identify – “What actions can I schedule into my week so that I am most likely to experience those feelings?”
- Daily inspirational reading and sharing via social media to be inspired and inspire
- Working out
- Nourishing my body with healthful foods
- Sleeping 7 hours per night
- Walking outside
- Time away from technology
- Limiting my work hours
- Creating something – writing or cooking
- Time for meaningful connections
- Buffer time in my schedule, purposeful quiet time scheduled
When I look at my schedule for the week working out and eating right doesn’t seem so much like a punishment, but rather the way I am choosing to design my life. I’ve already gotten to my Deep Why with the first step. I know if I make time for most of the actions on this list that will give me the best chance of feeling how I wish to feel. Reviewing this weekly prevents me from missing the mark too long. For example, if I go a week without some meaningful connection time with people who are important to me, that will be a higher priority the following week. Looking at your time and schedule one week at a time prevents you from getting too far off track.
Make a – Choosing NOT To-Do Today List.
Priorities in business and at home are constantly changing as new developments happen. Maybe Spring cleaning was your #1 priority this weekend, but you got sick. Priorities changed then – right? Rest and getting better took over the cleaning, and that is how it should be. When you find yourself looking at too long of a to-do list at work or for home projects that you want to get done, instead just select your 3 Most Important Tasks. The rest goes on your “Choosing Not To-Do Today List.” Put away the big Choosing Not To-Do Today List. Only work off the short list.
Tomorrow repeat the practice. Review the big list and consider what else has come up, pick your 3 Most Important Tasks and focus on those. Our brains and our energy get clogged up when we try to throw too much at it. Simplify. Focus. There is no guilt to engage. All you are doing is looking at the priorities and making the best decision each day. Eliminate the stress of reviewing the entire list several times a day. Instead only review once a day or better yet weekly. If you have something on your Most Important Task List and you keep pushing it off, then it actually belongs on the Choosing NOT To-Do Today List. You’ve already made a decision that was not as important as you initially thought, so quit evaluating it everyday and bringing the guilt on yourself each time you look at it.
Remember – today IS your life. Not tomorrow, not next week, not when the kids are gone to college. It is today and everyday. You design your life and create your own reality by the choices you make in each day.
If you haven’t checked out The Mapmaker yet. My first book is available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle. This book is a format of 33 short stories and essays. Following each story is an invitation for you to explore your own life in that area, journaling some thoughts to guide your direction. The book covers topics including motherhood, friendship, marriage, divorce, childhood cancer, abuse, our own mortality, and life purpose. Grab one today for yourself or as a gift!
